morning

pretty early in the morning eh? 2am?

yeah had a long day, 50% of it was in yamaha. i mean, who the fuck lepaks at a music school on saturdays. geez im a pure loser. if lepaking at the mall, then that's acceptable. or even at the cybercafe, or mamak, or snooker center. but in a music school. my god, even i couldn't believe it.

and at night there weren't any plans either, so i could officially conclude that my saturday nights are basically 'dead'. wait, i forgot to include fridays as well. 90% of my friday and saturday nights are DEAD. you hear me?

geez, almost 19 and only entered clubs twice. how pathetic is that?

and to label myself a not-so-good-boy? i doubt i even fall under that category. i think i'm just slightly below the 'good boy' level. my god this is so boring.

all the time i come here and rant about how imperfect i am, how shitty i feel about my life, my craving for booze and guitars, this and that. seriously, what the fuck else is there to read on my blog? i hardly ever write about what happened throughout my whole day and what i did, i never wrote any thoughtful or inspiring posts, or even opinions on important issues. shit, what's my blog for? who killed alvinkei? the alvinkei i knew was fuckin dead 2 years ago.

when i am a nice guy, i'm taken for granted and get 'used' by others.

when i am an asshole, people want to know me.

when i am myself, i'll be emo because i'm too quiet for others to be around with.

weird, ain't it?

so tell me, how could i be happy?

this is good : X-Japan