so many cases to remember.
so many sections and acts to remember.
so dead, i am.
didn't play the guitar for 2 days and my fingers are like dead now. what the heck.
i think i should dedicate one special day whereby i sit my ass down and play the piano for 4 hours, then play the guitar for 4 hours.yeah maybe lets list down my timetable for the week. it's about time that i have one already.
monday :
10-2pm guitar
3pm-7pm piano
10pm-1am study
tuesday - thursday :
10pm-1am study
friday :
PARTY
saturday :
i guess nothing can be done today =)
sunday :
1pm-4pm : piano
4pm - 7pm guitar
10pm - 1am study.
WELL i think i can follow the timetable pretty strictly, except the only part which i have to watch out is ... study .
that's a really shocking word that strikes fear in me. =(
i finally bought a guitar cable, but sadly i still can't play for nuts on the guitar. everytime when i wana practise something, i need a peaceful state of mind. as in, there's nothing bothering me and my mind is geared towards doing whatever i wana do, even studying. currently i keep worrying about my studies actually, but never really had the mood to take out the book to study.
you know, i think i've unknowingly changed into a very reserved person on the inside. not to mention an emo person also. i realised that everytime there's a lot of things going on in my head, and i could never make quick decisions anymore. the more i hesitate, the worse i fail, and the worse i feel. when can i ever follow the words of 'Dont hesitate and go', and really make a difference with my hesitant mind? things aren't going so well in me recently. i'm weighing my wants and needs, as to whether to be the person who i really want to be, or just be who i am.
most people would tell me to be who i am, but for one thing, i doubt that i'll be happy being myself the current state i am in. and well the 'ideal' person that i want to be, i'd think that most reasonable people would dismiss it, saying that it's just absurd that such a type of image could be deemed as 'ideal'. well, i'm weird in a way. very weird, i would think. because most of the things i do, seems to go the opposite way of everyone is heading to.
for example when people head towards financial stability, i head towards, well i think you should know.
fame.
most of my friends know that i have this unhealthy ambition to become famous. and some of them already advised me, saying that people do the things they usually do, and because they were spotted by the right people, they became famous without even knowing it. and many would laugh at the "i wanna be famous" kind of mindset. it might sound stupid to others, but to me it doesn't. maybe i'm an attention seeker? maybe i have low self confidence? maybe i feel insecure? i really don't know. one thing for sure, i do love support. and especially when you're on the stage, feeding your energy on the applauses and cheers from people who love what you're doing. well that's the only thing i could do for now.
perhaps the only place where i am truly happy, the only place where i really feel at home, is the stage
anyways i took a 'how unmalaysian are you' quiz and here's my result:
Congratulations alvinkei, you are 30% not Malaysian.
That means you're as Malaysian as...
Michelle Yeoh!
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